“Whenever I find myself in an argument about the greatest rock bands of all time, I always place Zeppelin third, behind the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. This sentiment is incredibly common; if we polled everyone in North America who likes rock music, those three bands would almost certainly be the consensus selections (and in that order). But Zeppelin is far and away the most popular rock band of all time, and they’re popular in a way that Beatles and Stones cannot possibly compete with; this is because every straight man born after the year 1958 has at least one transitory period of his life when he believes Led Zeppelin is the only good band that ever existed. And there is no other rock group that generates that experience.
A few years ago, I was an on-air guest for a morning radio show in Akron. I was on the air with the librarian from the Akron public library, and we were discussing either John Cheever or Guided by Voices, or possibly both. Talk radio in Akron is f-cking crazy. While we were walking out of the studio, the librarian noticed the show’s 19-year-old producer; the producer had a blond mullet, his blank eyes were beyond bloodshot, and he was wearing ripped jeans and a black Swan Song T-shirt with all the runes from the Zoso album. The librarian turned to me and said, “You know, I went to high school with that guy.” This librarian is 42. But he was right. He did go to high school with that guy. So did I. Everyone in America went to high school with that guy. Right now, there are boys in fourth grade who do not even realize that they will become “that guy” as soon as they finish reading The Hobbit in eighth grade. There are people having unprotected sex at this very moment, and the fetus spawned from that union will become “that guy” in two decades. Led Zeppelin is the most legitimately timeless musical entity of the past half century; they are the only group in the history of rock ‘n’ roll that every male rock fan seems to experience in exactly the same way.”
~ Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story (New York: Scribner, 2005), pp. 197-198.
8 responses so far ↓
Troy Polidori // March 30, 2008 at 10:18 am |
I have that exact same shirt… I think I’m that guy.
Christian // March 30, 2008 at 10:23 am |
Troy,
I hope this didn’t come as too much of a shock. I don’t think I ever became “that guy” but I did certainly go through the phase where I thought Led Zeppelin was the only good rock band in the world. I think it lasted from 1993-1995. It was a good run.
I think the thing that might have prevented me from ever morphing into “that guy” was that I did not read The Hobbit until my mid-20’s.
Have you read much Klosterman?
dan // March 30, 2008 at 4:55 pm |
Mid-20s? I read The Hobbit for the first time in grade 2! Oh, and I also went through a period when I thought that Zeppelin was the best there ever would be.
Remember Otto’s dying words? “Zeppelin rules!”
Christian // March 30, 2008 at 5:14 pm |
I’m telling the truth about the Hobbit. Although I knew how to read in grade 2, or second grade as we say here in the United States, I don’t think I read a whole book until college (which tends to happen here in the United States) and I never read The Lord of The Rings or The Hobbit until my 20s. True story.
Otto was definitely “that guy.” And you’re on the fence!
adamsteward // March 31, 2008 at 9:05 am |
Led Zeppelin is so powerful that they remained my favorite band even through the two years in high school when I was trying mightily not to listen to secular music. I read The Hobbit my freshman year of high school, but was already hooked on the Zep by 7th grade, when I started listening to 92.3 KGON CLASSIC ROCK. It was my mainstay till about my freshman year of college. Even in my parenthetic christian-only years, I still managed to talk my conscience into tuning in to Get the Led Out every night at 8 o’clock. I am eternally indebted to that radio program. I have never owned a Zeppelin CD, but thanks to it, I’ve managed to memorize the lyrics to about 2/3 of the entire catalog.
dan // March 31, 2008 at 2:23 pm |
I see. You crazy Americans.
However, seeing as my family didn’t get a TV until I was in highschool (if I remember correctly), and seeing as I was never allowed to go over to my friends’ houses (or have them over), I ended up reading a lot when I was younger. Yep. Those were the days. Yep.
Christian // March 31, 2008 at 7:41 pm |
Dan,
I don’t want you to feel out of sorts because you aren’t American and thus weren’t forced to grow up in front of a television. I know that such an upbringing has given me a certain cultural superiority, but that does not mean that you and your viewpoints are not welcome and possibly even valid.
- Christian
p.s. I’m going to be up in Vancouver this summer — the first two or three weeks of July. Any chance you’ll be around? We can finally get that beer.
dan // March 31, 2008 at 8:48 pm |
Hell yeah, we can get that beer. Also you should come at the start of June so that we can both attend this: http://www.kingsu.ca/saintpaul/.
If you can’t make that, I still plan on being around (writing my thesis… still) in July.